What Would San Martin Do?

I heard from a gin drinking , guitar playing saint named Aidrine that you can solve even the most complex of questions. So here I go. Pretend you were a gringo traveling in a strange land. You spoke little spanish and you have heard that obtaining a latin love is the quickest way to learn the language. How do you get the girl, learn the language , and liberate the country in only three short months? Cheese and wine will only get you so far. Your friend from the far North, jason

I must remind you that you are asking the man who maintains a harem of 13000 ecstatic nymphets, and who invented noth the English and Spanish languages, so answering your question will require a bit of "role-play" on my part.

JayJay, cheese and wine can get you very far indeed, especially when it comes to hooking Latin fishes, but if you feel this is not enough you could always go to your nearesst costume shop and dress up as Yours Truly. You`ll have no problem with the fairer sex then, although getting them to dismount from your weaponry and help you with your conjugation may prove tricker. Also, build a monument of the Chief Stud (me).

Ps: I assume you are in a Spanish speaking country. This means there is no reason for you to liberate it. I have already "ticked that box."