What Would San Martin Do?

dear san m. i know that tampons will make me lose my virginity. so instead of using them in this depraved way, i wondered how many i would need to erect a huge monument to your glory from johannesburg to mendoza?

Wee Mendocina, first things first: I must compliment you on your exceptionally wise sexual practices. We all know that a single tampon can inflcit more damage than all the male genitalia of the world combined.

As for your answer: this is the perfect opportunity for my loyal followers to understand how the mind of a Saint works. Mine is a theocracy which is governed by Love and Logic, so buckle up and hold on tight...

The distance from Johnannesburg to Mendoza is 9573.9km. There are 1000mm in a metre and 1000m in a kilometre which means that the distance from JHB to Mendoza is 9573900000mm. A Lillets Super tampon measures 52mm. Therefore you will need 184113462 (the Saint ALWAYS rounds UP) tampons to ´erect´ your/my monument.

Ps: I suggest you use Philadelphia cheese as an adhesive agent in the erection process.